Look Me In The Eyes by John Elder Robinson

Friday, February 08, 2008

Walk in Their Shoes Challenge
All John Elder Robison knew his entire life is that he was different from everyone else. Not until he is forty does he learn that he has Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism.
From the book cover:
"Look Me in the Eye is the moving, darkly funny story of growing up with Asperger's at a time when the diagnosis didn't exist. A born storyteller, Robison takes you inside the head of a boy whom teachers and other adults regarded as "defective," who could not avail himself of KISS's endless groupies, and who still has a peculiar aversion to using people's given names (he calls his wife "Unit Two). He also provides a fascinating reverse angle on the younger brother he left at the mercy of their nutty parents--the boy who would later become Augusten Burroughs and write the bestselling Running with Scissors.
Ultimately, this is the story of Robison's journey from his world into ours, and his new life as a husband, father, and successful, small business owner. It's a strange, sly, indelible account-- sometimes alien, yet always deeply human."
I found most of this book to be totally engrossing. As Robison describes his thought processes and how he can't understand "normal" people, you catch a unique glimpse into how his mind works. When a Laurie tells him that her friend is having an affair with a man who drives a motorcycle like John's, John's mind races to find the correct response. He failed.
"Thinking about conversations like the one I had with Laurie makes me mad. People approach me, uninvited, and make unsolicited statements. When they don't get the rsponse they expect, they become indignant. If I offer no response at all, they become indignant at that. So there is no way for me to win.
Given that line of reasoning, why talk to people at all? Well, many autistic people don't, possibly for that very reason. But, for some reason, I want the Lauries of the world to like me. To not think I am weird. I can be eccentric, but I don't want to be weird. So I persist. I try to say the things a "Normal" person would say."
The parts of the book I did not enjoy as much are the ones that deal with Robison in his work life. His career as the special effects engineer for the rock band, KISS, and later as developer of high tech games for Milton Brady just weren't as interesting to me although it certainly illustrated his impressive intelligence and abilities. I just found the descriptions of his struggle to learn to live and be accepted by most of the people he met to be truly inspiring. And his childhood was heartbreaking.
"As a functional Aspergian adult, one thing troubles me deeply abouth those kids who end up behind the second door. (Door Number Two being the choice to not be able to function in society.) Many description of autism and Asperger's describe people like me as "not wanting contact with others" or "preferring to play along." I can't speak for other kids, but I'd like to be very clear about me own feelings: I did not ever want to be alone. And all those child psychologists who said "John prefers to play by himself" were dead wrong. I played by myself because I was a failure at playing with others. I was alone as a result of my own limitations, and being alone was one of the bitterest disappointments of my young life. The sting of those early failures followed me long into adulthood, even after I learned about Aspergers."
I almost didn't read this book because I didn't like Running with Scissors, his brother's book (didn't finish it). I consider this book a must read for anyone who has a friend or family member dealing with Asperger's Syndrome. Robison's experiences of dealing with his shortcomings while developing his talents is a great lesson for anyone.
Rating: 4.25
Posted by Framed at 11:09 PM

9 comments:
Booklogged said...
I think I'm going to scratch a book I already have on my list for this challenge and read this one instead. It sounds good and that cover picture makes me want to gently hold that little boy. What a picture!
2/09/2008 1:25 AM
John Elder Robison said...
I'm glad you enjoyed my book and the insights into my differences. I see from your profile that you're in Utah. I'm appearing at the University of Colorado in Boulder in mid-March (schedule is on my blog)if you're within driving distance. We'll be talking about these very things.
2/09/2008 6:28 AM
Jeane said...
I've been interested in this book for some time now. I really appreciated your review, and now I'm even more convinced I want to read it!
2/09/2008 7:42 AM
Kristy said...
I read about half of this book last year. I didn't dislike it, but I temporarily lost interest. I have a nephew with Asperger's. I think I lost interest because it didn't surprise me all that much. I see my nephew accomplishing more and more each day. I do plan to finish it this year. I am glad you liked it and I hope it draws more attention to Aspergers.
2/09/2008 7:51 AM
writer2b said...
I had an adult student once in a writing class who had Asperger's Syndrome. Some real genius, as well as some real difficulty and frustration when it came to relating to others. It might have gone very differently for him if he'd been diagnosed younger.Thank you for this review, and for the excerpts. It sounds like a book that makes one rethink "normalcy" a bit.
2/09/2008 9:06 AM
Maw Books said...
The book cover alone has got me interested in this one. Sounds like an intriguing read, especially as I've just finished reading The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time an Rules. I might as well round out my reading about autism. Another one that was just recommended to me is Born on a Blue Day by Daniel Tammet, it's a memoir written by a man with the same diagnosis.
2/09/2008 12:12 PM
gautami tripathy said...
I love that book cover. It is gonna be on my TBR pile.Now, don't hate me. I have tagged you yet again. This meme is created by me:non-fiction all the way--a meme
2/13/2008 8:43 AM
SuziQoregon said...
This one sounds interesting - thanks for telling us about it!!
2/15/2008 10:16 AM
Susan said...
Thanks for the book review. I have a nephew with Asperger's, and he is going through some of the things the author describes - especially the loneliness, because he (my nephew) can't connect with kids his own age. he is desperate for friends, but that ability to connect isn't there. It is heartbreaking. I will have to put this book on my TBR pile for this year. Thanks!